Hey guys :-)
i told you about my big brother, how is in the army..
he comes back home at the weekend. sometimes, but not always..i think, hes the most important person in my life. i cant and wont without him.hes every time there for me and i can talk with him about everything. i had write him 2 letters yet and he say that he could cry, when he read them, because he misses me as much as i miss him. before i was born, he said that he wont play with me if i am a girl. but he did. so big brother, i love you so damn much!
i got pictures of us, but i dont like them haha :D
Tags
my brother♥.
and here's a photo of my brother when he was still a child and was not I born :-)
sorry guys for not posting anything last weeks..i was ill and didnt feel like play computer or something like this :s
but in the last few days, i think about us. We all talking about other people, say bad or good things about them. Sometimes its like: 'hey, look at this girl, i dont like her, shes such a b****.' why do we do this?! i think, its because she have something, we dont have.
I am honest: I do this too. But not so hard. Most times I say that I hate him/her.
But thats not all. We say things about people. That we dont like their behavior, their style or their hobbys. For example, when they go to partys at weekend, coloring their hair black or from blond to brown, sleep with guys, they dont really know or had many in a short time. In my eyes, thats their life. We care about them, but what does it help us?! Nothing, right.
And look at your life. Sometime you will do or like this things, even if you dont want it. And in my opinion, all girls are a bit sloopy and like it when boys touch them...
but in the last few days, i think about us. We all talking about other people, say bad or good things about them. Sometimes its like: 'hey, look at this girl, i dont like her, shes such a b****.' why do we do this?! i think, its because she have something, we dont have.
I am honest: I do this too. But not so hard. Most times I say that I hate him/her.
But thats not all. We say things about people. That we dont like their behavior, their style or their hobbys. For example, when they go to partys at weekend, coloring their hair black or from blond to brown, sleep with guys, they dont really know or had many in a short time. In my eyes, thats their life. We care about them, but what does it help us?! Nothing, right.
And look at your life. Sometime you will do or like this things, even if you dont want it. And in my opinion, all girls are a bit sloopy and like it when boys touch them...
Herz, tröste dich, schon kommt die Zeit,
Die von der Marter dich befreit,
Ihr Schlangen, ihr Drachen,
Ihr Zähne, ihr Rachen,
Ihr Nägel, ihr Kerzen,
Sinnbilder der Schmerzen,
Müsst in den Erntekranz hinein,
Hüte dich schöns Blümelein!
Ich habe nicht aufgepasst. Habe mich in Dich verliebt. Verloren, habe ich mein wahres Gesicht..
-
Heart, comfort you, even the time comes,
The freed you from the torture,
Ye serpents, ye dragons,
Her teeth, her throat,
Her nails, her candles
Symbols of pain,
Must enter into the harvest wreath,
Beware beautiful little flower!
I was not paying attention. I just fell in love with you. Lost, is my true face..
Die von der Marter dich befreit,
Ihr Schlangen, ihr Drachen,
Ihr Zähne, ihr Rachen,
Ihr Nägel, ihr Kerzen,
Sinnbilder der Schmerzen,
Müsst in den Erntekranz hinein,
Hüte dich schöns Blümelein!
Ich habe nicht aufgepasst. Habe mich in Dich verliebt. Verloren, habe ich mein wahres Gesicht..
-
Heart, comfort you, even the time comes,
The freed you from the torture,
Ye serpents, ye dragons,
Her teeth, her throat,
Her nails, her candles
Symbols of pain,
Must enter into the harvest wreath,
Beware beautiful little flower!
I was not paying attention. I just fell in love with you. Lost, is my true face..
ffl. Fight for Love, Life, Laugh.
What's love? Many people say that they 'love' somebody. But acctually, they don't know what Love is. I know it and i don't want to. Look, when you like a person so really damn much, for 2 years right now, you dont want to. Yesterday i had a little fight with a friend, because i didnt kiss a boy right yet. So she said that i had to kiss anybody. I was shocked. Im not a bitch and want to kiss a boy i dont know really much! But the thing was that shes 13 and has had already 92682658 boys and also slept with 3 or 4? I dont want to be like this. I want to live my life like i want. but sometimes, i cant..
There are Always these many things in my head. Like the boy you love for this long time and dont have Any chance, but not only with this boy. I Always think that im not beautiful enough for this world. But there are many other things i dont want to say, like problems in family, ya know? :s
When im with friends, most time i cant laugh. Only when im drinking or smoking something. The bad (or good?!) thing is, that im not doing this often. Not more then one time a month.. ._.
i dont know what to do with my life. Im not really good in school and things like this.. :-/
people say: 'It's getting better!'
I want to believe, but i cant..So there are Always these things i do when im sad and i think i cant go on anymore.I dont want to do this all, but i cant stop it.. :-/
I have enough of people.
What's love? Many people say that they 'love' somebody. But acctually, they don't know what Love is. I know it and i don't want to. Look, when you like a person so really damn much, for 2 years right now, you dont want to. Yesterday i had a little fight with a friend, because i didnt kiss a boy right yet. So she said that i had to kiss anybody. I was shocked. Im not a bitch and want to kiss a boy i dont know really much! But the thing was that shes 13 and has had already 92682658 boys and also slept with 3 or 4? I dont want to be like this. I want to live my life like i want. but sometimes, i cant..
There are Always these many things in my head. Like the boy you love for this long time and dont have Any chance, but not only with this boy. I Always think that im not beautiful enough for this world. But there are many other things i dont want to say, like problems in family, ya know? :s
When im with friends, most time i cant laugh. Only when im drinking or smoking something. The bad (or good?!) thing is, that im not doing this often. Not more then one time a month.. ._.
i dont know what to do with my life. Im not really good in school and things like this.. :-/
people say: 'It's getting better!'
I want to believe, but i cant..So there are Always these things i do when im sad and i think i cant go on anymore.I dont want to do this all, but i cant stop it.. :-/
I have enough of people.
So let's get drunk, hoe!
Report
Mir kam es vor als hätte ich alles verloren. Ich wollte irgendwas zerreißen, ich wollte wegrennen, einfach nur weg von allem & jedem. Rennen, bis ich nicht mehr konnte. So viel konnte man doch nicht falsch machen,oder? So viel durfte einfach nicht falsch gehen. Wie verzweifelt kann ein Mensch sein, dass er nicht mal mehr ans Licht glaubte? Das kann doch keiner mehr ertragen. Andere würden das niemals durchstehen. Warum muss ich das also nun schon so lange? Seit ich dich kenne, will ich noch einmal von vorne anfangen. Irgendwann gehe ich weg & komme nie wieder. Lass' die ganze Scheiße & dich hinter mir. Vielleicht finde ich ja einen Mann, der nicht so ist wie du, einen, der es verdient, so geliebt zu werden. Aber ich denke, mein Herz wird immer dir gehören, egal was passiert. Ich werde es nie mehr bekommen, denn es gibt keinen reset Knopf – leider. Ich würde dich nur zu gerne vergessen & vorallem das Leid, das du mitgebracht hast. Ich bete jede Nacht, dass Gott mir hilft. Doch wann erhört er meine Gebete? Seit du in meinem Leben bist, hat sich alles so verändert. Ich kann nicht sagen, ob zum Gutem oder Schlechtem, aber ich kann sagen, dass ich von all dem genug habe. Wie viele Texte muss ich noch über dich & mein Leben schreiben? Ich liebe Dich, aber ich will Dich nicht, denn ich habe Angst, dass du mich noch mehr verletzt. Du weißt nicht, wie mein Herz schlägt,wenn ich dich sehe, wie es ist, wenn jedes Mal mein Körper nicht mehr das tut, was ich will, meine Hände kalt werden & meine Knie zittern. Du weißt eigentlich gar nichts über mich, also hör bitte auf so zu tun, alles würdest du mich kennen. Erzähl keine Sachen über mich, die nicht stimmen, denn wenigstens das bist du mir schuldig. Hier hast du sie – deine zweite Chance. Entweder nimmst du sie oder du vergisst mich & lässt das alles nun endlich ruhen. Ich will dich endlich vergessen, aber du gibst mir keine Chance. Die Odyssee, die nie enden mag, der unendliche lange Tunnel ohne Ausgang, der Albtraum, aus dem man nicht aufwacht. Wann nur hört das alles endlich auf?!
-
i had the feeling that i've lost everything. i wanted to pull sth to pieces, i wanted to run away, just running away from everything and everyone. Just running, until i cant stand it anymore. You cant do so many things wrong, can you? So much shouldnt go wrong. How much broken hearted can a person be that she/he doesnt even believe in the light anymore?! Nobody can face this.. Other people couldnt face it.So why am i doing this for this long time? Since i know you, i want to start living again. One time i will go away and wont come back again. Let all this shit und you behind me. Maybe ill find a man who isnt like you, one who deserves it to be loved. but i think my heart will always be yours, no matter what will happen. I wont get it back because there isnt any "Reset"- Button to push- i'm afraid so. I would love to forget you, especially the pain you had brought with you. I pray every night that god will help me. But when will he hear my devotions? Since you had gone into my life, everything changed. i cant tell you if it is good or bad, but i can tell you that i dont want this anymore. How many texts do i have to write about you and my life? I love you, but i dont want it because im afraid you will hurt me more painful. You dont know how my heart is beating when i see you, how it is when your body isnt doing what you want him to do, when my hands get cold, and my legs chatter. You dont know a thing about me, so please stop thinking you would know me. Dont say things about me which arent true, i just want this. Here take this - your second chance. Either you take it or you forget me and let this rest in piece. I finally want to forget you, but you dont give me any chance. The Odyssey which doesnt want to end, the endless tunnel without an exit, the nightmare in which you cant wake up. When does this finally stop?!
-
i had the feeling that i've lost everything. i wanted to pull sth to pieces, i wanted to run away, just running away from everything and everyone. Just running, until i cant stand it anymore. You cant do so many things wrong, can you? So much shouldnt go wrong. How much broken hearted can a person be that she/he doesnt even believe in the light anymore?! Nobody can face this.. Other people couldnt face it.So why am i doing this for this long time? Since i know you, i want to start living again. One time i will go away and wont come back again. Let all this shit und you behind me. Maybe ill find a man who isnt like you, one who deserves it to be loved. but i think my heart will always be yours, no matter what will happen. I wont get it back because there isnt any "Reset"- Button to push- i'm afraid so. I would love to forget you, especially the pain you had brought with you. I pray every night that god will help me. But when will he hear my devotions? Since you had gone into my life, everything changed. i cant tell you if it is good or bad, but i can tell you that i dont want this anymore. How many texts do i have to write about you and my life? I love you, but i dont want it because im afraid you will hurt me more painful. You dont know how my heart is beating when i see you, how it is when your body isnt doing what you want him to do, when my hands get cold, and my legs chatter. You dont know a thing about me, so please stop thinking you would know me. Dont say things about me which arent true, i just want this. Here take this - your second chance. Either you take it or you forget me and let this rest in piece. I finally want to forget you, but you dont give me any chance. The Odyssey which doesnt want to end, the endless tunnel without an exit, the nightmare in which you cant wake up. When does this finally stop?!
